telling the tale

Drinking and drugging seem like perfectly acceptable substitutes for understanding your deficiencies and taking steps to correct oft made mistakes. Compound a profoundly negative view of humanity with laziness and an inability to make plans beyond dinner. Circle around the block to where I live right about now. Envy, the "hedonic treadmill" may be a fantastic way to move forward except it kind of sort of caused you to think you could just stop living. The first advice from any party with a job and a sense of purpose and a modicum of self respect, responsibility, patriotic duty and honor to their lineage would be to tell you to go fuck yourself, grow up and stop being a faggot. Not a faggot in the redneck/frat/bro category of contemporary language but a failure of all masculine conventions of pre-modern history. The diffuculty in knowing that its all an illusion and will stop suddenly is that you see know sense in slowing down. Better off to jam on the gas and get the biggest thrill watching the blah blah cliche cliche appology to reader, fuck. I'm just saying I want a job and don't want to fail at it.