Something to Remember

"This is most visible by its unsubtlety in politics, especially political punditry. If you’ll indulge moment of ideological asymmetry here, I find it even more pervasive on the left than on the right. Think of the endlessly multiplying theorists who, ostensibly defending the interests of the downtrodden common man, operate on the premise that everyone has been hoodwinked by corporations, crooked politicians and the military-industrial complex — everyone but them. But even outside this realm, certain types of claims set off my brain’s automatic find/replace:

• “The Bush Regime plays the American public like a fiddle” = “I have psychic powers (to recognize and avoid the techniques of said fiddling)”
• “That work of art is pretentious” = “I have psychic powers (to know the artist’s intention)”
• “Most people are lazy” = “I have psychic powers (to know others’ willingness to work)”

This is why, when I hear someone I haven’t met described as “opinionated,” I tend to assume that means “dumb,” “delusional, “too insecure to not to have an opinion,” “believes themselves to possess superhuman brain abilities” or various permutations thereof. If only they’d just chill out a little bit. Maybe shoot a documentary or two."

-Colin Marshall